Daily Trixie

Things weren’t going so great. Unplanned-for interactions made me feel self-conscious, and the handles on the paper bag broke.

At least I didn’t look totally repellent. Wearing tight warming yoga pants and the new black puffer coat my mom gave me (that my sister then took away, and our mom then bought back for me) I felt somewhat less self-conscious and terrible about myself when all of the heavy groceries crashed to the floor and spilled out at the self-checkout. At least I look a little cute.

In the dark parking lot of our last errand-stop I reached into my NEW capacious pocket for my phone and … it wasn’t there. OHMYGOD MY PHONE WHERE IS IT I LEFT IT SOMEWHERE IN SAFEWAY!!!
Panicking, I patted the quilting of my new coat all over, shrieking and freaking out my wife.

The total humiliation the loss of years of photo and video assets the exposure to shame the loss loss loss and hassle. The uncertainty of what to do next.

Don’t panic. That’s always what to do next when you feel for your phone and your fingers don’t find it: STOP the PANIC. Because you always do find it. You haven’t lost one yet. DON’T REACT WITH FEAR! BE CALM! That is always the next right thing.

Easier said than done.

The bigger “what-to-do-next”:

Moments like this add a sense of urgency to detaching from our (my) device addiction. To building in time WITHOUT devices. Not just an hour or evening locked in the kitchen safe timer (still great, with so much underutilized / neglected potential), but building in TOTAL TIME OFF from device-attachment.

A week. A WHOLE MONTH. Disconnected. Not ever even picking up a mobile phone. Not taking it with me anywhere.

The inability to do this for an extended period of time speaks to a bigger problem of not taking time off at all in general — not being able to have a whole day or weekend off. Not ever taking a vacation.

I do not want these devices (and fears of losing them, or missing out on whatever it is they supposedly offer) to be part of my daily life anymore. I do not want attachment and interaction with these devices to be my strongest and most-repeated habit. I do not want the sensation of being without a phone in my hand to send me into a tailspin.

But what about …

But what about using my phones to access and play music, which I do want in my daily life? What about using them to access and read BOOKS, which I do want in my daily life? Well … I can use more stationary and/or focused devices: desktop and laptop computers, my kindle, and perhaps a new tablet with limited apps installed and no phone or messaging capabilities.

But what about using my phones to create content? Using them to capture videos, sounds, and images? What about using my camera phones as part of practicing my signature strengths of Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence, Gratitude, Love of Learning and more? Well … we have a DSLR camera and camcorder for that.

There are better FOCUSED tools we have or can (SHOULD) upgrade to enjoy doing those kinds of work with more mindful, productive and high-quality focused results than what we get using our phones. Using intentionally-purposed tools means experiencing more happy-making uninterrupted FLOW in the process. It would be more effective to start planning our content creation with intention than doing half-assed phone shit on the fly, anyway.

HOW TO MAKE IT HAPPEN

So what do I need to do to make this happen? To be able to take days, weeks, or even a month or whole season OFF of mobile devices? How can I totally untether and detach from the constant phone companions?

In the long run, one of the biggest requirements is to get a personal assistant. But even without one, it’s still possible to make solid plans that start with clear visions of A) real restful time totally off, and B) productive happy work in flow. Visions of what I want instead of these stressful, intrusive phone habits.

Without a PA, the keys are

1. batching all of the tasks that require the phones use:
   • setting specific time(s) a day for doing those phone tasks, and
   • limiting the amount of minutes or hours for doing that batch of tasks
2. Tethering the phone(s) to one static location (a desk, workstation, or, at the very least, a single room)
3. Keeping the phones locked up in a kitchen safe timer outside of set batch work time(s)
4. Having enough money and being on top of bills enough to not constantly have to be on the lookout for unexpected withdrawals, managing payouts, and hoping payments come through

RE-CHARGING

OMG the ongoing maintenance of the devices with their unexpected shutdowns, updates, and needs for more juice!

Making sure all of our devices are charged is one of the insidiously basic low-level tasks that makes us habitually preoccupied with our phones and intrusive fealty to them. Managing and maximizing our devices’ battery life require whole systems by themselves, and are more reasons I’m thinking about the need to streamline processes associated with daily habitual mobile phone use.

You can’t charge them while they’re locked up in a safe, so how can you get around this AND completely reduce opportunities to mindlessly pick them up and play with them? To make sure your devices don’t die without constantly checking them and how much charge you have left you can

1. Keep them turned off when charging / not in use
2. Refer back to tethering: have specific stations where the devices are used and charged; it is easier when you’re not dragging them with you everywhere like a ball and chain, into bed and everywhere you go.
3. Schedule and batch all of the charging and other maintenance tasks the same way you are going to do with more interactive kinds of phone use

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When it’s all said and done, maybe the main master key is to prioritize recharging your OWN batteries over your mobile devices that you habitually use for dopamine hits and checking out. Instead of constantly being infected and depleted by the blue light of your device, alerts, etc., think about what you’re going to do to restore your own power levels and protect yourself from having your battery drained by constant distractions, time sucks, and noisy demands for your attention.

How often do you power down to rest? Do you ever reach 100% charge and feel lit up to go with bright green light? Do you noticed when you are depleted and take immediate emergency measures to shut down completely and attend to restoring your cells? What are the signs it is time for you to go into energy-saving mode and what does that look like? What is YOUR power source that makes you feel plugged in and energized, and how often do you connect to it?

Answer these questions. Shift your focus away from your devices and towards addressing your own personal power levels. Make plans to address deficits and recharge yourself. Implement those plans, practicing new daily phone-free habits to level yourself up to a new ascended model of your phone-free self.

Get addicted to living your own life, not living through the life, screens, and lenses of your phones and mobile devices.

1. I do not want to bathe / shower every day.

2. I do not want to do housework every day.

3. I do not want to be in the company or presence of others every day.

You can’t design the life you want if you can’t confidently acknowledge and clearly articulate what you DO NOT want.

It used to be people were always warning you to only state goals in positive terms. Over the years I’ve learned that’s an inefficient mistake and not 100% true. Clarity is more important than “positivity”.