• Naked outside, flipping my long blonde hair: http://t.co/6XZaxmlv (plus notes on hair-related fetishes, forced hair removal, etc.) 15:27:48
  • Feeling compelled to buy David Lynch's Elephant Man to see if it's hilarious in a way my ~10 year old self couldn't have appreciated. 20:45:55
  • RT @StripperTweets: I would so get dances from you! RT @TipTheGirls: Apparently, I don't want to make money tonight. http://t.co/FNEpAvKk 20:46:25
  • How to not get laid: tell an older woman you are "fine" with having sex with her or jerking off on her tits. 20:58:07
  • If you describe the prospect of sex with someone as being "fine" with you, like the prospect of taking turns doing the dishes, just abstain. 20:59:33
  • Note to young men: if you start a conversation w/a person about having sex w/ them, take a risk & SAY WHY/SOUND LIKE YOU REALLY WANT TO! 21:02:03
  • I haven't pooped in way too long. Maybe just consider me on sabbatical until I poop. And recover from pooping after not pooping for 2 long. 22:03:11