My Life Yesterday

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My Life Yesterday

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  • BIRDMAN: we ARE going to that show tonight you said you were coming to. Say hi if you see me! I'm wearing: enormous pimple – can't miss it! 17:25:40

My Life Yesterday

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My Life Yesterday

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  • I saw @AmberLily BURP a deep, low belch tonight on cam! Now? She's FINGERING HERSELF! http://t.co/BpZRSprT3e http://t.co/oovFnptMVE 00:19:13
  • If you want to get mad at fellow camgirls about something be pissed when they squeal & pretend what amounts to $3.50 is SO fucking exciting. 00:32:11
  • "Ooooh ten gold!! I just landed in a land of milk & honey & puppies!! I'm SO grateful I *must* fuck myself NOW! I got $35 for ALL HOLES!!" 00:34:04
  • I need my piano. I need to get my piano back. Please God bring back my piano, and I will sing hymns of praise & never "bother" myself again. 02:33:57
  • Great dusk workout with @DeliaTS – I almost broke my nose on a door in a tunnel & we got really close to an owl who hoooOOOGGHHHted warning. 19:26:53
  • Hahahaha – that made me laugh, @brian_engle @DeliaTS in reply to brian_engle 20:11:03
  • Mmmmmm! Candlelight, PJ Harvey & my wife's tongue on my ass is how it started with @DeliaTS tonight. Just kept ramping up. SO FUCKING GOOD. 23:30:30

My Life Yesterday

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My Life Yesterday

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My Life Yesterday

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My Life Yesterday

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  • …but then I discovered that he has a perfect dick! Take that, Ryan Adams! 01:16:12
  • In our town, *I* am the insensitive lout on her phone too much. Poor guy, me tweeting these things when he goes pee. 01:19:00
  • So glad he's warming up his car to go now, though. I need to be alone. I can't blow someone's mind ALL NIGHT LONG. #SorePussy 01:21:50
  • Fuck yeah, Lisa Vanderpump. I've had you on pause too long tonight. 01:31:41
  • Now in regret / guilt mode.

    The only cure for it: MEATBALLS. 02:16:17

  • Our town.
    It is so small.
    What did I do that for.
    When is my mid-life crisis going to be over.
    Why do I feel so dead inside. 03:17:10
  • (just kidding about that last line … I'm just tweeting for drama, not TOTAL honesty … it was irresistible; sorry) 03:18:47
  • Ugh. Just remembered I left our car downtown. Going to have to take a long walk on sore legs. 10:32:24
  • It definitely will be, @trubluedave – trying to muster up energy for this reverse walk of shame / responsible not-drunk-driving consequence. in reply to trubluedave 12:09:56
  • Masturbating with my leg & butt muscles clenched is not helping my already super-sore thighs, hips, & gluts. But I like to come, so fuck it. 16:42:09

My Life Yesterday

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My Life Yesterday

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  • Just forced (haha) myself to use my imagination instead of watching videos while I masturbated. Came thinking of butthole opening to my… 11:17:45
  • On page 67 of 344 of When She Woke, by Hillary Jordan http://t.co/LmMHsp8OiC 15:22:20
  • I'm up for anything where Blair Waldorf talks about pooping, @GrandCinema … even if I have to exaggerate it in my head to make it DIRTIER. in reply to GrandCinema 15:26:49

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