Daily Trixie

Beginning to modify this site because a) I want to, and b) what it’s been doing (auto-posting a log of my tweets from the previous day) is no longer possible / “Twitter” has ceased to exist in many ways.

Twitter stopped being what I’d signed up for a long long long time before the new ownership and “X”. It definitely hasn’t been a place I’ve gone focused on doing what my posts have been titled (micro-blogging “My Life Yesterday”) for many years, anyway.

It makes more sense for daily logs and such to be published online the old-fashioned way anyway: on a blog next-to-nobody looks at except for the person doing the blogging.

-Creating and maintaining logs, documentation, reports, lists, journals, etc. are important and helpful to me. I value these practices, and I believe they add value to me: to my work, my efficiency, my focus, confidence, happiness, clarity, creativity, self-esteem and effectiveness.

-Having many blogs / websites allows me to funnel boring and/or repellant content into special interest containers: greater utility for me, less counter-productive content for surfers/readers/fans, and more clarity for all.

-CAPTAIN’S LOG(s). Role playing. Vision of self. Habits and practice.

– Habitually writing, journaling, being organized, noting observations, planning, researching, studying, making flash cards, and documenting journeys –committing to these practices and prioritizing them daily (especially over what “normal” people and the Tyranny of The Social dictate) — is an act of defiance and discipline that builds grit / muscles / puts hair on your chest while naturally building walls and moats separating you from those people who do not have plans. When people know you would rather spend hours every day journaling, reading, learning, writing, researching and charting your course than wasting even a few hours every week getting drunk and socializing superficially, they will notice the the lines of demarcation between you and them; when paired with confidence that you are dedicated to your practices and priorities and enjoy them, most of them will even naturally be repelled by you and give you a wide berth. Just a hypothesis; I’ve not had the required confidence up to now to thoroughly test this. I believe the key to opening the first door to this kind of freedom is to actually DO the things when faced with challenges and undesired invitations/pressure, and to clearly, confidently state these things I already have plans to do / want to do most with relatively flat affect so as not to be confused for part of a conversational volley. TO DO: write script. Practice. Example: I’m catching up on my logs and reading. TO DO: write more scripts anticipating questions and remarks. Example: laugh and don’t say any words in response. Use invitations, questions, reactions as triggers for excusing yourself: “that reminds me of a task / I have a job I still have to go home and finish.”

GOAL: RE-ENTER THE FIVE AM CLUB. STARTING TOMORROW.

I’m grateful / for

• my wife coming out here excited to insist I come look at the sun setting, burning like lava in the trees from the wildfire smoke
• our aimless drive and grocery store eggrolls today & unexpectedly coming across THE MUSIC THE DRUMS THE HORNS (and even the dogs and people) in the street
  • my wife agreeing to take unplanned spontaneous time to park and GET OUT and dance and follow this, and enjoying it with me even if at first she didn’t quite want to.
  • the feeling of pure joy and freedom and happiness I had — the un-self-consciousness of being this age and loved (and home from family time where my mom told me to STOP when I clapped in the park to the live music there)
  • the memories of other times we’ve wound up at this fair, joyfully dancing or hula hooping in the street … the reminder of how many of these good memories and years we have had together
  • the clarity / certainty that THIS is living … this is what memento mori prompts me to do … this is my vision of The Perfect Day: drums and singing and dancing and freedom to do them in the street or whenever wherever I want and people of all ages dressed weirdly or basically, cheering and singing together for the unexpected percussion we are designed to respond to, and that a bunch of them can just mill around on the edges and that’s okay too. Just the right number of people and space taken up and it doesn’t matter if you haven’t showered in over a week or if you were a big asshole yesterday. Not having to plan or prepare for it, just jump into the music and drumming RIGHT NOW, instantly part of it … belonging while still being relatively invisible / part of a small, safe, organic just-for-today crowd.