3 Things I Do NOT WANT On the Daily

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1. I do not want to bathe / shower every day.

2. I do not want to do housework every day.

3. I do not want to be in the company or presence of others every day.

You can’t design the life you want if you can’t confidently acknowledge and clearly articulate what you DO NOT want.

It used to be people were always warning you to only state goals in positive terms. Over the years I’ve learned that’s an inefficient mistake and not 100% true. Clarity is more important than “positivity”.

Revisiting DavidSeah.com

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While eating lunch I wondered how DSri Seah (Printable CEO creator, updated here on Productivity Tools page) and their site(s) is (are) doing so I bopped over and am now looking through their albums / portfolios. I really wanted to star (lots of things, but especially) this Index Card Scabbard:

“I made an arm-mounted “mini desk” that can hold both index cards and sticky notes, to help keep me focused as I run around the office trying to get things done.” – D. Sri Seah

In comments someone said:

“You should check out quarterback gear. I often see quarterbacks and/or coaches with these!”

to which they replied, “Someone told me it’s called a ‘wrist coach‘”.

I love the wearable clunky analog plastic+paper thing and how much more useful it is than (or at least AS useful and cool) smartwatches that people allow to interrupt them with notifications every time they get a text or call. I love the tracking and timekeeping aspects of my FitBit, but absolutely do not enable the intrusive stuff. It fits with the affirmative examples / models / users of people who employ index cards A LOT (Ryan Holiday / Daily Stoic, for example).

All of this stuff makes me feel so much less self-conscious and embarrassed about having elaborate systems and space and lots of time devoted to planning, tracking, noting, logging, envisioning, writing, synthesizing and STUDYING.

I always feel inspired and affirmed by Seah. They have been a major influence (maybe *the* biggest inspiration) in making me feel permitted and even useful, productive and *cool* (by my nerdy standards) to USE trackers and planners, to CUSTOMIZE my own printables, and to allow yourself to PLAN on having a shitty minimally-productive day, give yourself credit for what you can (and DO) do, and practice radical (self-) acceptance ON PAPER, in writing, without shame. Where is that, again … oh yeah, the Annoyed Task Planner:

  • “Everything Annoys Me Today and YET I WANT TO WORK”
  • room for angry scribbles
  • a log of annoyances
  • a manageable planner (“three mundane things I can tolerate doing”)
  • an invitation to reflect and note how you feel after doing each of those things
  • it mirrors your negativity in a funny externalized way you can laugh at (ex. “Today’s Stupid Date”) and puts your grouchy feelings into perspective, making you feel more acceptance and less shame, and see that this is not the worst day or experience ever
  • it invites you to do that serenity prayer thing and CHANGE WHAT YOU CAN, starting with recognizing you are not fucking up to changing the whole world or solving all your problems with a radiant smile today AND THAT IS ACCEPTABLE! You *accept* yourself and how it is, and move on from there, which results in the funny thing the psychs say that it is when we accept ourselves just as we are that we begin to change. As Seah says,
    • “Strangely, this indulgence of displeasure always seems to have an uplifting effect on me. I can’t stay in a bad mood for very long…”

A perfect example of how when we feel like we are bad and NEED to change, some survival-love part of ourselves balks defensively and won’t let go of the bad feelings and gnawing on the BADNESS of them. When we just say I feel shitty today and it feels insurmountable but I want to do SOMETHING … maybe I can? Let’s see what I can do here… And you give yourself a little time for breaking pencil lead with angry scribbles and laugh at yourself … moving on to what you can accomplish comes naturally, and accepting what you *don’t* accomplish and what you already left undone (by waking up late, for example) is signed off on, documented in writing, and now you can f’n file it and LET IT GO.

Even though Seah values and prioritizes social connections a lot more in their projects, planning and prioritizing (something I always want to turn upside down / customize differently when I use their printables), it doesn’t make me feel like I’m broken or that their work has nothing to offer or teach me.

So happy always, every time I check in there. I have PMS today so it is helpful to get out of my own overthinky weird head and just feel enormous love and relief for someone I *love* for being so thinky and awesomely-weird and who I would never want to feel bad about being that way.

“WEIRD” is so valuable. Weirdness helps make us IRREPLACEABLE, and so obviously humanly alive.



The Ritzy Cane

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QUESTION: what kind of cane is featured in puttin on the ritz?

The song “Puttin’ on the Ritz” has been performed by various artists over the years, but the version you might be referring to is the one originally popularized by Fred Astaire in the 1930 musical film “Puttin’ on the Ritz.” In the film, Fred Astaire famously dances while using a white-tipped black cane, which becomes an integral part of his performance.

The cane itself is often referred to as a “top hat cane” or a “gentleman’s cane.” It’s a stylish accessory that was commonly used by gentlemen during that era and added an elegant flair to their attire. In the context of the song and dance routine, the cane is used as a prop to enhance the choreography and rhythm of the performance.


While the answer I was looking for is what AI gave me (that is totally the cane I was envisioning, a la costume Taco remake, and what I envisioned Fred Astaire used in Blue Skies), it is not accurate re: Fred Astaire. He uses a regular CANE cane (too lazy to go on a follow-up curiosity-adventure to reveal what those are called) that I associate with dance performances (belly dancers, vaudeville, etc.) – I think they use them because they are light / more useful as dance and trick props.

Wanted for this graphic for a post I’m writing:

One Hour Photo & Bling Ring

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started to rewatch today by myself with brunch – only watched once before and since have never quite been able to remember why other people’s raves of it felt off, but I think it’s because I didn’t want him to be the villain / like … why can’t that (very relatable to me) person and job / setting be gifted to us as protagonists in movies / be more moderate / not so totally off-the-rails? I think it also always annoyed me hearing at the time how GOD SO SHOCKING ROBIN WILLIAMS PLAYING A CREEPY SCARY WEIRDO GUY totally rolled my eyes at that disbelief normal people have, like a precursor to their bizarre shock over Mrs. Doubtfire hanging himself. Now we have books like Convenience Store Woman which I think is who I longed for this character to be allowed to be.

Glad to finally be rewatching (at least the beginning of it) for some beautiful lines, ambience, shots, etc.

  • TO DO:
    • write down some of these favorite lines from one-hour photo / PW
    • incorporate into post for BR (or ?) re: photo I took after fight w/mommy
      • the why? & weird! from sister
      • add decision made a few years ago never to hesitate or feel self-conscious about taking pictures of things if I get the urge
        • it is my JOB
        • it brings me JOY
        • it is a manageable way of being a hoarder
        • an efficient way to journal (how that daily emotions app check in thing helped & the memories are so much better than like iphone auto-created ones)
        • it is how I remember stuff my empathy in dysfunctional relationships might allow me to forget
        • it is a reality / honesty check – documenting something I am ashamed of


started with dinner last night with D, thinking we were about to rewatch the documentary (series?), but it was the dramatized movie

not as terrible as I anticipated it would be, but still really useless and kind of lame / I’d rather just rewatch the doc

I don’t understand the casting of Emma – it must be the kind of thing insiders in industry do like they think it’s really impressive to see her in this unlike-her-typecast role but really for most audience it is just unbelievable and awkward / hard to suspend disbelief / it’s such an American role should just BE AN AMERICAN GIRL

there’s something extra-exploitative, I always think, about these dramatized based-on-a-true-story things, and the doc really helps highlight how off it is.

I do think Leslie Mann was a pretty good fit for the mom, from what I could tell. I pretty much love it whenever she is fit into anything, though.

Twitter ≠ “My Life”

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Beginning to modify this site because a) I want to, and b) what it’s been doing (auto-posting a log of my tweets from the previous day) is no longer possible / “Twitter” has ceased to exist in many ways.

Twitter stopped being what I’d signed up for a long long long time before the new ownership and “X”. It definitely hasn’t been a place I’ve gone focused on doing what my posts have been titled (micro-blogging “My Life Yesterday”) for many years, anyway.

It makes more sense for daily logs and such to be published online the old-fashioned way anyway: on a blog next-to-nobody looks at except for the person doing the blogging.

-Creating and maintaining logs, documentation, reports, lists, journals, etc. are important and helpful to me. I value these practices, and I believe they add value to me: to my work, my efficiency, my focus, confidence, happiness, clarity, creativity, self-esteem and effectiveness.

-Having many blogs / websites allows me to funnel boring and/or repellant content into special interest containers: greater utility for me, less counter-productive content for surfers/readers/fans, and more clarity for all.

-CAPTAIN’S LOG(s). Role playing. Vision of self. Habits and practice.

– Habitually writing, journaling, being organized, noting observations, planning, researching, studying, making flash cards, and documenting journeys –committing to these practices and prioritizing them daily (especially over what “normal” people and the Tyranny of The Social dictate) — is an act of defiance and discipline that builds grit / muscles / puts hair on your chest while naturally building walls and moats separating you from those people who do not have plans. When people know you would rather spend hours every day journaling, reading, learning, writing, researching and charting your course than wasting even a few hours every week getting drunk and socializing superficially, they will notice the the lines of demarcation between you and them; when paired with confidence that you are dedicated to your practices and priorities and enjoy them, most of them will even naturally be repelled by you and give you a wide berth. Just a hypothesis; I’ve not had the required confidence up to now to thoroughly test this. I believe the key to opening the first door to this kind of freedom is to actually DO the things when faced with challenges and undesired invitations/pressure, and to clearly, confidently state these things I already have plans to do / want to do most with relatively flat affect so as not to be confused for part of a conversational volley. TO DO: write script. Practice. Example: I’m catching up on my logs and reading. TO DO: write more scripts anticipating questions and remarks. Example: laugh and don’t say any words in response. Use invitations, questions, reactions as triggers for excusing yourself: “that reminds me of a task / I have a job I still have to go home and finish.”


I’m grateful / for

  • my wife coming out here excited to insist I come look at the sun setting, burning like lava in the trees from the wildfire smoke
  • our aimless drive and grocery store eggrolls today & unexpectedly coming across THE MUSIC THE DRUMS THE HORNS (and even the dogs and people) in the street
    • my wife agreeing to take unplanned spontaneous time to park and GET OUT and dance and follow this, and enjoying it with me even if at first she didn’t quite want to.
    • the feeling of pure joy and freedom and happiness I had — the un-self-consciousness of being this age and loved (and home from family time where my mom told me to STOP when I clapped in the park to the live music there)
    • the memories of other times we’ve wound up at this fair, joyfully dancing or hula hooping in the street … the reminder of how many of these good memories and years we have had together
    • the clarity / certainty that THIS is living … this is what memento mori prompts me to do … this is my vision of The Perfect Day: drums and singing and dancing and freedom to do them in the street or whenever wherever I want and people of all ages dressed weirdly or basically, cheering and singing together for the unexpected percussion we are designed to respond to, and that a bunch of them can just mill around on the edges and that’s okay too. Just the right number of people and space taken up and it doesn’t matter if you haven’t showered in over a week or if you were a big asshole yesterday. Not having to plan or prepare for it, just jump into the music and drumming RIGHT NOW, instantly part of it … belonging while still being relatively invisible / part of a small, safe, organic just-for-today crowd.

My Life Yesterday

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  • RT @Seska: As the elegant evening gown draped her figure, it revealed a hint of tantalizing cleavage, subtly drawing attention to her woman… 08:58:21
  • Wild-haired and topless at dusk. All natural body coming to hover over you with edge-of-dreams witchiness….

    See… https://t.co/mufwRSCyki 09:07:47

My Life Yesterday

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My Life Yesterday

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My Life Yesterday

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My Life Yesterday

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