My Life Yesterday

March 21, 2015

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My Life Yesterday

March 20, 2015

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  • Just had a tiny fantasy about Taurus (who I stopped talking to) & Mermaid … his fiance. First he served us food. Didn't go past that. 00:22:11
  • I feel a weird blushing embarrassment(?)/urge to look away when I look at pics/videos I've taken of/with younger guys. I grin & ache. 01:16:42
  • Can't sleep.

    Masturbating. 05:12:08

  • I pay for people to touch me. I pay for people to talk with. I pay to be alone with people. I pay to be fed. Proud & happy to pay for ~love! 15:29:26
  • Emotional labor, intimate physical labor & service are VALUABLE. We shouldn't be forced to be in nebulous relationships to get these things. 15:31:13
  • Squeeeeeee! Only @jizlee can pull off bike-helmet-sexy! http://t.co/qLV4lROGc3" (& remind us safety IS sexy & so much fun in so many ways) 15:48:53
  • #TBT from 2003 – I *need* to get my piano back. NEED to be alone with my piano.
    See also: http://t.co/L7ilObfB8C http://t.co/HBJ7GD1kLv 15:51:53
  • I wonder if you could teach me to draw, @dana_orourke … in reply to dana_orourke 16:48:11
  • I'm so so happy @DeliaTS is home with me for a couple of nights!!! 18:58:04
  • It makes me very happy to be able to tell someone what to do & have serving me make them happy back. Without reciprocating or fanfare. 20:29:04
  • I told my hot wife @DeliaTS that to honor my birthday she needs to keep at least one of her tits out at all times for me to enjoy. 23:49:25

My Life Yesterday

March 19, 2015

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  • Warm cozy socks.
    Pretty new ditzy print pillowcases.
    What more could I want?

    Oh yeah … cock, and lots of it. 01:14:24

  • Holy fucking shitballs HOW did a local biz get my porn name / gmail & then share it?!? I hate google. Hate it hate it hate it hate. 16:13:25
  • I signed up to a local biz group with my civilian hotmail account, but my fucking google+ must somehow be associated with something. FML. 16:16:45
  • It's a beautiful day. And I want to crawl into a cave and snuggle with a cold RealDoll named "privacy", pretending I have that girlfriend. 16:18:30
  • If we had less privacy but a lot more money, it might be worth it. These days we have less privacy AND less money, though. Not worth it. 16:25:48
  • Nothing about my civilian hotmail & my google porn profile are connected. I don't know how this happened, & am afraid to ask. #InHiding 16:28:13
  • Maybe they don't really have me. Maybe when I went to 1 of their google docs on drive it just made it look like they have me but they don't? 16:36:40
  • RT @XBIZ: Celebrate 12 Years With Reyna Mae http://t.co/wNuezTWkhN 16:41:02
  • Oh sweet snuggly sissy ginger boy who wants to come make me a birthday cake … if only I had the energy to properly exploit you right now. 17:03:53
  • For real, @SophiaSylvan ! I actually might feel OK about it if I was proud of myself & my work lately, but I'm not.

    #DontLookAtMe in reply to SophiaSylvan 17:18:11

  • @SophiaSylvan grrrrrrr …sucks so hard. And they think we don't know! And when they look on other people's machines & networks & out us. 🙁 in reply to SophiaSylvan 17:22:36
  • Ugh, @SophiaSylvan – so disheartening, that judgment / disapproval reinforced with the invasive disrespect of silent staring at us naked. in reply to SophiaSylvan 17:25:29
  • @SophiaSylvan No, don't think so – if it was shared, wasn't to be mean. Most folks think it's cool/just don't understand problem w/sharing. in reply to SophiaSylvan 17:30:40
  • Thanks, @Frederick605tx! On Sunday a new guy is coming over, but I don't know if I'll turn voyeur cams on. Just shooting is pressure enough. in reply to Frederick605tx 17:41:15
  • Ginger boy scheduled for the 27th, @Frederick605tx – @DeliaTS might be in on that one, too, & probably action on cam. in reply to Frederick605tx 17:42:35
  • RT @DeliaTS: Getting ready to log in for some camming this evening – http://t.co/I7SY7GNKiZ 19:46:49
  • Getting anxious about how many interactive / social engagements are plotted on our calendar. Living this far out means too many sleepovers. 19:56:32
  • RT @libby_lynn: Signature recognized

My Life Yesterday

March 18, 2015

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My Life Yesterday

March 17, 2015

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  • Past hour: been in an imaginary argument with a mansplainer who thinks I'm unfair & I must not get informed consent from guys I shoot. 02:36:46
  • He whines that my ad doesn't build trust. Dude – I don't need to build trust. I know how the human dick works. 02:38:32
  • Grappling with (and FUCKING) the "realities" of aging on the eve of my birthday: http://t.co/oRtFUimOSL 09:24:15
  • Always interesting to see who my fellow Pisces are: @Weebeasty @BellaVendetta @hungsolo2k (others I can't remember right now) 12:23:05
  • I love dicks. I LOVE DICKS. I always have and I always will. I cannot help how strongly I respond to them. I am a fucking cock addict. 12:36:51
  • Thanks, @juliastockings! I *adore* this dress – you look so cute in it: https://t.co/64RW9tx7vy (& are you a pisces too? I can't remember) in reply to juliastockings 13:07:17
  • Prospect earning big points: takes direction well, very verbal & makes delicious noises, hot voice, gorgeous cock, willing & enthusiastic. 13:31:55
  • RT @violetblue: I got to see the internet go from a place for free expression and discovery to corporate rule with Puritan restrictions on … 15:20:47
  • One *good*/better thing about the internet lately: lots more younger progressive voices challenging & educating on social justice issues. 15:22:43
  • Using a dating site in the Seattle area? TIP: NOBODY LOOKS SEXY WEARING A BICYCLE HELMET. Fucking NOBODY. Okay, maybe @jizlee does. 16:15:56
  • Ooooh, @AmberLilyShow! I loved shooting you sucking & riding that cock! And looooook . . . you're looking right at me!! in reply to AmberLilyShow 16:20:03
  • Hmmm… I'd like to feel drums & witness chemistry between @TwoGallants @tractortavern – Ride Away (Live on KEXP): https://t.co/jlQgkhBxT4 16:30:13
  • RT @AZEALIABANKS: Ha! http://t.co/Mqyox197OU 17:37:01
  • Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes yes, and YES: Rocker Jack White – Serious Jibber-Jabber with Conan O'Brien: https://t.co/6dszCPnsvp via @YouTube 23:28:52
  • Dear this-century exaggerators: a relationship or person doesn't have to be "toxic!" to be incompatible or require detachment or closure. 23:48:14

My Life Yesterday

March 16, 2015

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  • Heavy rain on metal roof, tiny window open behind me. Happy alone learning to fearlessly enjoy days off as if 11 y.o. http://t.co/QWA8OytJLx 12:29:05
  • Favorite inspirational & affirming reading material: #books #values
    #asceticism isn't the opposite of #hedonism http://t.co/5lqnYv7FY4 12:53:34
  • Reading Myra Breckenridge at a tender age in the early 80s probably had an enormous influence on me re: gender, language, etc. #GoreVidal 13:51:12
  • It's adorable how many boys' flirtatious pics are of them pulling up their shirts to expose their titties or abs or hearts or whatever. 14:17:50
  • Maybe I was a better person when I was openly contemptuous, combative, & convinced of my own rightness. IDK why, but people still liked me. 15:58:15
  • @Do2U2one what do you mean? Are you swearing off the internet? in reply to Do2U2one 16:19:13
  • Guys can be so passive aggressively deliberately obtuse with their backhanded tear-you-down compliments. 16:22:01
  • "It seems you've been really depressed & barely functional, but feeling better today so now's a great time to point out your failures!" 16:30:22
  • You can get basic help, cancel site memberships, get refund if not as advertised, change billing, etc. 24/7 at https://t.co/g2SbIoovPe 🙂 16:58:07
  • RT @spyonus: We're in a very transitional period & hope to bring the spycams back better than before. Thanks for your support & patience in… 17:04:15
  • RT @spyonus: Our lifecams (& lives) haven't been like they used to be, but there's been some AMAZING beautiful exclusive real sex on them i… 17:04:24
  • Honest to god, as I tweet this there are literally guys lining up texting me they want to suck cock for me & my cams right now. 17:17:45
  • Believe it or not though, just doing really private & wonderful things on camera isn't going to pay our bills. 17:18:58
  • I am a relic. And I don't know if I can or want to retrofit myself. If it would even be worth trying. 20:05:54
  • I don't know where to start. Or I *do*, but when I begin it becomes abundantly clear how incredibly unmanageable and impossible more is. 20:06:26
  • Porn didn't ruin the internet. Low standards, media illiteracy & a huge spiritual void did.

    I AM OFFICIALLY A GASSY OLD WINDBAG!!! 20:19:26

  • RT @DeliaTS: Cool soggy wet day/evening here in Seattle – perfect for camming –> http://t.co/I7SY7GNKiZ 21:48:07
  • When I take stimulants, I become an uncensored emotional jackass bitch asshole when they wear off. Even just caffeine from tea this AM. 22:28:22
  • RT @babestoday: I like that @tastytrixie has a page on her site called "My Boobs" … read 'n learn: http://t.co/KSEleFz7J2 http://t.co/5CN… 22:28:28
  • I totally had to update my bra size, @babestoday! They are bigger now (36DD) than when I wrote that (34D). Thanks! in reply to babestoday 22:31:11
  • All of my pages need to be updated with VIDEOS, @babestoday – especially that one! in reply to babestoday 22:53:54

My Life Yesterday

March 15, 2015

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  • Some meat some cheese some tea … a cozy hole to hide in, unwashed under fluffy clean covers. 10:03:52
  • I'm going to stay here a long time alone, keeping the spycams OFF of me. Trying harder to feel better, not guilty. http://t.co/n10z0kbBvL 10:21:07
  • An old post on dreamy sleepy cabin time: http://t.co/YGscRqU7pH – Why do I compromise & deprive myself of what I love & recharges me? 11:35:57
  • The biggest problem is I want to spend every waking moment eating or putting something that feels good in and out of my mouth. 12:55:11
  • My god I want a reliable binge delivery boy drug dealer I can be unapologetically cruel to. 13:02:40
  • Oh yeah, and masturbating. I also want to do that in between eating 13:29:03
  • As self-employed people, I often wonder whether we treat ourselves as well as good employers would treat us: http://t.co/ehCIkmo6Ud 15:24:42
  • Oh no young marine who shoots tons of cum –you're not going to … FUCK don't tempt me just bc you're in town. Squirrely kid, perfect cock. 15:30:47
  • I really dislike it when people know where we live. I want a moat, please. And invisibility. 15:33:13
  • @BellaVendetta I know you don't, too – many times I've actually felt like calling to bug you about exactly that. {{{hugs}}} in reply to BellaVendetta 15:36:29
  • Looks like I narrowly missed bumping into that kid on my junk food run. OR he saw me & I didn't see him. I'm horny, but unpresentable. 15:43:09
  • My shirt & seat of my long johns are brown with melted chocolate & I just broke a pen trying to open a stubborn bag of Twizzlers Bites. 15:49:48
  • Every fucking day I see a headline that says "PEAK INSIDE NOW" & I thought I was over being aggravated by shitty spelling but noooooooo! 16:27:27
  • I was so over shitty spelling I was seriously considering fucking a guy on a dating site who described himself as having "no wirrys". 16:29:11
  • Somebody who proudly advertises himself in writing as having "no wirrys" is honest & truly free from fetters of fear & self-consciousness. 16:34:31
  • Ohhhhhhhh, @earth616jon – do you mean all the kids these days are spelling "worry" as "wirry"? in reply to earth616jon 16:36:56
  • RT @AlicePhallus: @tastytrixie Got sour cream in my hair eating a burrito today. These are indeed the risks we take with our youthful, fast… 16:40:37
  • My highest priority self-care kind of day off is alone, masturbating and reading and masturbating and EATING and reading and coming again. 18:28:36
  • RT @EscortLosAngele: Tara Burns @THEecowhore is creating Public Records On #Sexwork and Sex Trafficking, Please support if you can http://t… 20:58:06
  • I haven't been working productively a lot lately, but I haven't really been taking productive time off, either. Very aware of that tonight. 21:06:44
  • Being obsessive about work (& other things) & a perfectionist can be very tiring, inefficient, & disheartening. Brain doesn't take time off. 21:43:55
  • RT @AaliyahLove69: I get off on women lifting each other up, showing each other love, encouraging each other here on Twitter:) I love all … 23:10:48

My Life Yesterday

March 14, 2015

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  • 2 of 5 stars to Sober Is My New Drunk by Paul Carr https://t.co/I5WJGHFnM2 02:25:42
  • In the middle of the night I get to feel invisible & pretend I have the black sky all to myself.

    I don't want anybody to look at me lately. 03:39:15

  • Started my day doing emotional / spiritual work & praying in a spot of sunshine for goodness & light to surround me & the people I love. 12:53:40
  • So yeah, the only thing that could improve my mood would be to have a 90 minute compilation of Ed Harris jacking off, talking dirty, etc. 13:07:48
  • Apparently my test results indicating ovarian reserve are GOOD! Whatever that means. Good … & normal for an old lady or what? #fertility 15:20:26
  • Whatever, though! Feeling good & sleepy about to nap to soothing Star Trek: TNG sounds : https://t.co/mRiZAjQhq5 via @YouTube 15:23:13
  • Hmm…is watching The Hours comforting to watch when depressed or just a really bad idea? Maybe a comfortingly bad idea. In bed with ladies. 16:12:06
  • Maybe watching #Knuckleball will have a healthier influence on me than The Hours today.

    Maybe they're actually THE SAME STORY. 16:44:13

  • Yay! So glad I'm watching this again; Knuckleball is a way way WAY better movie than The Hours. 16:51:17
  • Binge eating while intoxicated just seemed more healing to me than a nap. Pretty sure that wasn't the right judgment call, but fuck it. 18:29:08
  • So if you have a train wreck in a tunnel, is the only way out still "through"? Or is there no longer any way out? #Trainwreck 18:32:49
  • RT @sighclone: @tastytrixie #hug the best way out is seldom "through", every tunnel has service points & ventilation, look for that alterna… 19:07:39
  • I've gotten WAY more out of contributing to crowdfunding campaigns where they met their goal & didn't deliver, than ones that did. 22:07:22
  • It's often about the story and the process and person/people for me . . . not so much the end product. 22:07:50

My Life Yesterday

March 13, 2015

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My Life Yesterday

March 12, 2015

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