A little reprieve … a staying of the sentence turning the sweet calendar kitten’s or pinup babe’s face towards the wall or ripping off another significant chunk of weeks completely.
A day when no bills are regularly due, but you might get a check in the mail or some surprise deposit directly from who-knows-where.
Thirty days hath September … April, May, and November. The rest* I can’t remember; I’m not even sure I got that much right. Obviously May can’t be correct. Is it supposed to be March?
I have a vision of the 31st of May. December. January. Whichever ones apply; this must all be clarified. If I’m ever going to arrive at having perfect extra days at the end of however-many months a year. You have to know what you want, and I want a private deathly party at the golden hour that is all of them. What does that look like? How does it taste? And whatever will I wear?
For tomorrow I just don’t know, except it is the first Friday of the next four months that I am scheduled to be able to count on. Or actually it is the last Friday before those four months start, so maybe I should really 31st it up. Especially since the moon will still be in Pisces until well into the evening.
Thirty days hath September, April, June and November. All the rest have thirty-one, Excepting February alone, And that has twenty-eight days clear And twenty-nine in each leap year.
I love how it doesn’t spell out the days with thirty-one. Like they’re the most exclusive months by virtue of being unspecified. If you don’t know or aren’t willing to look up the address, then you’re not invited.
There are seven of them, making the 31st extra lucky: January, March, May, July, August, October, December.
I’m glad there are still three more to come this year after tomorrow.
“You should check out quarterback gear. I often see quarterbacks and/or coaches with these!”
to which they replied, “Someone told me it’s called a ‘wrist coach‘”.
I love the wearable clunky analog plastic+paper thing and how much more useful it is than (or at least AS useful and cool) smartwatches that people allow to interrupt them with notifications every time they get a text or call. I love the tracking and timekeeping aspects of my FitBit, but absolutely do not enable the intrusive stuff. It fits with the affirmative examples / models / users of people who employ index cards A LOT (Ryan Holiday / Daily Stoic, for example).
All of this stuff makes me feel so much less self-conscious and embarrassed about having elaborate systems and space and lots of time devoted to planning, tracking, noting, logging, envisioning, writing, synthesizing and STUDYING.
I always feel inspired and affirmed by Seah. They have been a major influence (maybe *the* biggest inspiration) in making me feel permitted and even useful, productive and *cool* (by my nerdy standards) to USE trackers and planners, to CUSTOMIZE my own printables, and to allow yourself to PLAN on having a shitty minimally-productive day, give yourself credit for what you can (and DO) do, and practice radical (self-) acceptance ON PAPER, in writing, without shame. Where is that, again … oh yeah, the Annoyed Task Planner:
“Everything Annoys Me Today and YET I WANT TO WORK”
room for angry scribbles
a log of annoyances
a manageable planner (“three mundane things I can tolerate doing”)
an invitation to reflect and note how you feel after doing each of those things
it mirrors your negativity in a funny externalized way you can laugh at (ex. “Today’s Stupid Date”) and puts your grouchy feelings into perspective, making you feel more acceptance and less shame, and see that this is not the worst day or experience ever
it invites you to do that serenity prayer thing and CHANGE WHAT YOU CAN, starting with recognizing you are not fucking up to changing the whole world or solving all your problems with a radiant smile today AND THAT IS ACCEPTABLE! You *accept* yourself and how it is, and move on from there, which results in the funny thing the psychs say that it is when we accept ourselves just as we are that we begin to change. As Seah says,
“Strangely, this indulgence of displeasure always seems to have an uplifting effect on me. I can’t stay in a bad mood for very long…”
A perfect example of how when we feel like we are bad and NEED to change, some survival-love part of ourselves balks defensively and won’t let go of the bad feelings and gnawing on the BADNESS of them. When we just say I feel shitty today and it feels insurmountable but I want to do SOMETHING … maybe I can? Let’s see what I can do here… And you give yourself a little time for breaking pencil lead with angry scribbles and laugh at yourself … moving on to what you can accomplish comes naturally, and accepting what you *don’t* accomplish and what you already left undone (by waking up late, for example) is signed off on, documented in writing, and now you can f’n file it and LET IT GO.
Even though Seah values and prioritizes social connections a lot more in their projects, planning and prioritizing (something I always want to turn upside down / customize differently when I use their printables), it doesn’t make me feel like I’m broken or that their work has nothing to offer or teach me.
So happy always, every time I check in there. I have PMS today so it is helpful to get out of my own overthinky weird head and just feel enormous love and relief for someone I *love* for being so thinky and awesomely-weird and who I would never want to feel bad about being that way.
“WEIRD” is so valuable. Weirdness helps make us IRREPLACEABLE, and so obviously humanly alive.
TO DO:
GET A WRIST COACH
ADAPT
TRY IT OUT
Daily Trixie is . . .
. . . an entry a day compiled from my (Trixie's) short Twitter posts.
See what happens in a day in the life of a woman who has been blogging AND making porn since 2001 (TastyTrixie.com: free blog | free tour | JOIN | members-only)