• 03:34 & can't sleep. Again. Perhaps a bowl of cheesy noodles and a bong hit will cure me. Wish someone were here to prepare comfort for me. 03:35:46
  • Okay. What I meant to say was cheesy noodles, bong hit, AND MASTURBATE. I fucking love hearing guys cum. 04:01:06
  • If I could rid myself of any kind of messages online & on my phone, it would NOT be dick pics … it would be "hello" & "how are you?" 13:33:23
  • Everything is so much better with sunshine!!!!

    <insert true sparkle vomit rainbow glitter puke ice cream burger chipped-tooth smile charm> 14:12:37

  • The kinds of texts I send to my massage therapist/friend: "Thanks for coming over . . . I forgot to ask how your butthole is!!!" 14:49:41
  • RT @AlignedandWell: My gift to you this year is a 24-Day Walking Advent. Day #1 starts with these four exercises; look for a quick… http:… 22:27:53
  • Try not to be overwhelmed by @AlignedandWell's awesomeness: http://t.co/PRhfOIqzAq – this is an awesome gift! 22:29:20
  • Does anyone know if "Samantha: An American Girl Holiday" is a good movie? Trying to pick out something great for tonight on Amazon Prime… 23:16:27