• There is no greater joy than having your loving wife mock & make fun of you. During the holidays & all year round. Thank you, @DeliaTS 🙂 11:07:41
  • I love getting to have so many of all the different feelings in brief spans of time. I'm happy to be alive & lucky to know sweet people. 12:50:07
  • gotta loosen up my tight hips on this here walk… https://t.co/XlQOV2aJn9 13:31:51
  • Lady in grocery store did a disgusted 180 to get away from me singing along to "Frosty the Snowman". 14:36:11
  • Now I'm just following her around, pissing her off to the tune of Mommy Kissing Santa Claus. She hates me. This is FUN. 14:37:51
  • Sorry lady. No amount of bulk whole bean coffee is going to extricate you from the spirit of Christmas hell that is me. 14:39:54
  • I'm a pasty-faced menace in a puffy red coat. 14:45:33
  • I haven't had partnered sex or masturbated to orgasm in a week. Getting a little edgy here. 17:00:44
  • Snapshots from our celebration of Throw Shit Away Day: http://t.co/HfLB0whVPt (including one of my big boobs) 19:40:41
  • Jesus CHRIST please tell me the raccoons didn't learn to open the gate right when @DeliaTS left me alone here. The cabin is surrounded. 19:52:29
  • Actually better it's the raccoons opening the gate than . . . human hands. What the fuck is going on out there?!? 19:53:06
  • I swear the neighbors pay them in bowls of popcorn to harass me – I see their shiny eyes now under the blackberry hut observing me. 19:56:44
  • Teasers for this site on tubes are so perfect I'm about to join: http://t.co/GL2DUzW0y4 (LOVE big cock hand-over-hand handjobs) 21:48:51
  • Don't you hate it when you come three times and it's still not enough, but you know they won't be as good if you keep going? 21:57:04